Are we there yet?

The thing about a relationship is that I have never been in one.
Being single in the city can be a lot of fun, the condition of sour grapes being left otherwise. Imagine the amount of alone time that you can get, and all the reading, writing and other things-that-I-can-alone-only you can achieve. But you sure do tend to miss out on a lot. A lot meaning free entries into pubs and clubs here.
Blame the hundred odd TV shows that I watch or the relationships that I have seen friends go through, I feel I too can write about them. So what exactly is a relationship about? Is it about a hundred violins, a dozen roses and two people and three little words. After all, Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies. Will they? Won't they? And then they finally do, and they're happy forever.
For a short time, though.
So at which point do you decide to move on then? When do you finally decide to search for new signs? Is it as easy as trying to fill up a requisite checklist, because surely there isn’t any such thing as a mail-order relationship, is there? (there is, but that is another story.) Or is it as simple as wearing an “I am with stupid” t-shirt?.
And finally, when you do manage to find someone, at which point in the relationship, do you ask the single-most important question, “Are we there yet?”.