Twenty Five

 You need one reason to buy D, by me? How about I give you twenty five? It’s a Saturday afternoon, and I have nothing else to do anyway (being an author makes you socially inactive or inadequate, I never knew the difference. Ah well, potaeto, potato. But wait, I digress again-). So here goes:

 Because it makes you looks cooler. You don’t need to buy the latest All-stars, or the chic Louis Vuitton bag anymore, the book shall do.

 Because the book is yellow, just like the infamous Yellow Umbrella from How I Met Your Mother, or the characters from The Simpsons. And we all know how awesome those  are.

Because in so many ways, it’s like a giant Thought Catalog entry. Who doesn’t love those?

 Because it’s every twenty-something’s guide to surviving this world. And come to think of it, aren’t we all perennially in our twenties?

 Because it’s not a love story. Of any kind. You've read one book on star-crossed lovers with opposing families, or circumstances, you've read them all. Yawn. We all need something else now.

  Because it might not have 50 shades of grey, but you’ll find 100 shades of you, and me.

Because you would be helping a cause. The MAMR Project. That’s short for Make-Aniruddha Mahale-Rich. Sorry.

 Because as clichéd as it may sound, it makes you believe that dreams do in fact, come true. Mine did. What are you waiting for?

 Because it will help your parents understand you a little better, and if I may say, you might understand yourself a lot better too.

Because reading books nowadays is a thing apparently. They make you look intelligent. This one more so.

Because if you like beautiful people, this book has a whole horde of them. If this is ever made into a movie (or a television series too, I don’t want to sound greedy), it would be full of gorgeous people. *smiles shiftily*

Do you like what JD has to say in every episode of Scrubs? Or felt at peace with Carrie Bradshaw’s blog posts in Sex and the City? Or realized the truth behind Meredith Grey’s words on Grey’s Anatomy? Wait. Or did you just watch Gossip Girl because of well, Gossip Girl herself? This book’s for you then.

 Because it’s full of quirky, witty, funny things. If it were a human, you would want to marry it. But then, that would be weird. Er, let’s just move on to the next point, shall we?

Because if you are a woman, then you are one of the reasons the book was written for, and dedicated to. Sigh, ain’t I a charmer?

 Because if you have a bitchy ex, or Somebody That You Used To Know (yes, who doesn’t have one of those?), This book will tell you how to deal with them. Move over Adele, we don’t need Someone Like You anymore.

Because it actually looks good in your bookshelf, or on your mantelpiece, or any-other-place-where-you-keep-your-books. They say don’t judge a book by its cover, I say, they don’t know what they are talking about.

Because it’s just a hundred bucks. That’s the cost of a McSpicy Burger at Mcdonalds. The cost of a rickshaw ride from Andheri to Bandra. Or a haircut at Jawed Habib’s salon. I am Sastaa and I Know It. LMFAO.

Because it’s short, it’s simple, it’s sweet and it can fit in your back pocket if you try really hard. A perfect replacement for that hip flask you want to throw away.

 Because “if you have an ounce of respect, love or residual feelings of friendship towards me, then you would be doing a great service by buying the book,”. So says the author. How lame, no? Trust me; I am much better than him.

Because it’s full of lists. And if you liked reading this one, you’ll definitely love reading those.

Because if you are the author’s mother, you get speaking lines in the book.

Because you can relate to the book. Not the way most pre-teen girls related to the chalkboard-that-was-Bella-Swan kind of way, but the real, pretentious way.

Because if this note made you snigger and snort, the book most certainly will.

Because you know the author personally. Come on now, face it. Are you every going to rub shoulders with JK Rowling, or have a tete-a-tete with Stephanie Meyer. NO! Let’s just make the most of what we get, shall we? But most importantly, because the book is different, it’s you.

What are you waiting for? Go buy!

Happy Reading, y’all!